“I’m her and I’m getting really fucking tired of being so” The white orbs were her saving grace as they contained in the mist that was threatening her with drowning sickness, her voice was dipped in melancholy sharpness and the emotions was pulling her seams. Betrayal washed over her, as she breathed out the words like weapons, the bitterness and self-hate contained inside was the reason why she robbed her own life, strung her body up in suicide because she was tired of waking up as the abandoned girl.
She despised herself on a daily basis, and the only reason why she stayed alive for so long was because of the souls in her life, but when they went away so did she. Desperate measures are taken when you decide to kill yourself, and the disgust she felt for that human girl still lived in the spirit that walked this earth. Genevieve met demons on a daily basis, and in the end they won. She had given up, gotten lost, and wanted to end it all.
She wasn’t meant to here, she just wanted this miserable life to be over. It was meant to be over, but then she awoke in the shattered remains of a deadly car crash. She hadn’t escaped the hell she was living in as planned, and the lacing anger she felt towards the writer; when it wasn’t his fault, was her shield that she held towards inhaling the truth that this was inescapable and she was still existing but in degrees more damaging then ever before, for the fear that she was permanently stuck on this earth as a ghost that was visible to no one clawed into her bones.
Biting anger overtaking her voice as she spoke again, disbelief and frustration living in her words. “Mon Dieu, you can’t recognize me because you don’t know me”
“You built up this perfect idea of a damsel in distress needing your saving, or a flawless angel that was so sweet and self-sacrificing that she was tainted by the big ol’ world around her. That you missed the part where I was a human girl that could never live up to your exceptions, or give you any part of which you wanted from me. I was always selfish, and cruel and contained more darkness then you could even imagine.”
Like poison, poison drowned in wrath, sweet angst and slow toughness. He couldn’t help but swallow the silence, not because it hurt, but because it didn’t. As a matter of fact, it was mere a suffocating burn, nothing but breathtaking numbness. “I know. I know you’re not her”, he shook his head in denial, falling slowly into despair. “She was human”, his hoarse voice took up the entire room, as if he was almost running out of strength. “She was human and that’s what I- I loved about her the most”. A pause and then a breath; just words hanging in the air before he’d close his eyelids for a moment, to feel the walls caving in and caving in. Defiantly, he stood still after opening his eyes once again.
There was one more thing, just more words to be spoken and spit from his mouth. Like poison. He could’ve gone off the deep end, and he could’ve been more careful. But his feet steadily hit the ground, as Eric approached her — whoever she was. His eyes were fixed on some kind of devilish black orbs and the fake smirk, ever so ready to get out the loathsome devil inside of her. A fight he’d probably never win. But the words that came out, were worse than planned. Soon Eric caught himself on the act of harsh remarks, carelessly sinking in again.
“I loved her. Not you. Whoever you are, you’re not her. You’re just a lifeless demon trapped inside her head, sucking all of her life. You’re breathing in and out whatever’s inside. You’re consuming her. But you’re not her.“
The boy in the green jacket didn’t know what else to say, for the urge to break the inviting silence wasn’t as strong as before. So he just allowed the words to fall down and break in and sink into each other’s skin, before it was too late to break his heart again.
Damn, this isn’t how I dreamed heaven to be.